Friday, January 2, 2009

Communication Is Everything?

Tara B. got me thinking about communication.  

It might be a reckless generalization to say that communication is everything, but I'll go ahead and say that communication is most things.  Communicating gets a lot of attention when it comes to mending relationships problem solving, and reconciling conflicting emotions.  This is a great part of communication, but somehow communicating in this way, while necessary when problems arise, might not be necessary as often if enough preventative communication (fancy term for talking) were taking place.  

Case in point:  Last night I made a plan for this morning and decided to return some gifts that were purchased with my mom's credit card.  My mom had asked me to return these items as this would be a big help to her.  I was happy to make the returns because I needed to go to those stores anyway.   Unfortunately I failed to mention my morning plans to my mom, and sadly, she also failed to tell me about her plans.  She's been here every morning for the last two weeks,  but that doesn't mean charges should be dropped.  I am quite guilty of assuming that she would be here this morning, which would have allowed me to take her credit card, which is necessary to return the items for anything besides an exchange within the store.  As you may have surmised, I awoke this morning to an empty house.  No mom, no credit card, no breakfast (but that's a different story),  and no way to carry out the plans that I had made.  Both my mother and I were inconvenienced.  Me because I had to switch around my day  -not a tragedy since I'm a student of adaptability- but it was still inconvenient.  The inconvenience to my mother is a lot greater than my own.  This was the last day I could have made the returns before going back to school, so now she will have to make a special trip to these stores with no other purpose than to get done what could have already been done if we had bothered to mention our plans to each other.  She has more than one bank card, so it would have been quite possible for both of us to accomplish what we had planned.

And now the philosophy:   It is good for relationships when we let the other participant in the relationship know what we're up to even if we don't perceive that it will make a difference in that persons planning.  It might be discovered, as in the case with my mom, that even though a change in the other person's plans was not perceived to be necessary as a result of the first person's plan,  a new plan or a bit of information could benefit both parties.  That benefit will remain undiscovered unless we communicate.  Let's plan together.  

I think you knew this already, but I wrote it down anyway.

If you actually read this, which evidently you do since  you're already here at the bottom.  I think you should have some input in the decision i'm making about what to write about next.  Should it be:

1.  Teamwork:  Me and the sewing lady.
2.  The Duct Taped Sandals That I'm Keeping 'til Jesus Comes
3.  Writing about what I think about Writing (hard to do but fun)
or just suggest something that you think you'd like to hear my thoughts on.  

9 comments:

  1. Id like to hear your thoughts on the definition of primitive.

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  2. Good case in point about communication. Bummer about all of that. My suggestion is that you all 3. I guess you asked which to do next, in which case I think the order you have up there is good, but I definitely don't think you should do just one of the 3, but all. By the way, sewing interests me, I'm going to need a sewing machine next semester. Any ideas where I could get one? Good blog man! See you next week.

    Ben

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  3. I feel like I should vote for writing about writing. It seems like the English teacher thing to do. But I won't lie, the sewing lady sounds like a story I'd like to hear as soon as possible.

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  4. First of all, I'm going to pick the story about the sandals you're keeping until Jesus comes; mostly because I too have a pair that I will never throw away (for my own reasons) but also because I want to be different. However, I can't escape wanting to hear about all of them, so maybe you should just spend the bulk of your free time writing for a while until we the people have them all.

    And finally, you are correct: expectations and assumptions are the enemy Cobra, and pre-commuication is our relational G.I. Joe.

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  5. Like everyone else...I think I vote for all. BUT I do want to hear about this sewing machine lady, and how that ties in with teamwork. Good post Bjorn! Communication is KEY!

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  6. Bijorno! Post crazy face! Post!

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  7. Hey Bijorn! thanks for sharing I agree communication is key and makes life a lot easier. Too bad we can't read people's minds.

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  8. so.... I randomly found your blog from someone else's blog. And I saw in your interests that you like Patrick McManus. lol. Unique people know about Patrick McManus. I'm impressed. I'll have to tell you that in Ancient Classsics today because it looks like you haven't written in your blog for ages.

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  9. Be Yorn. This is my THIRD comment on THIS post because I want to emphasize my wish that you would post more. So consider it emphasized.

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